December 14, 2013
One hundred years ago today a little baby boy was born. The year was 1913. This boy would grow up to be someone who would have a profound negative impact on my life; to put it mildly. I don’t know much about his childhood except he was a very poor boy who lived on a farm in Nebraska. I know that his life was hard and his own father committed suicide. I do know at some point in his life he became consumed with the overwhelming evil of pornography and sexual addiction. He was plagued to the point of acting out his evil thoughts on other people…children.
In 1966 with his addiction completely out of control, he began dating my mother and sexually abusing me. He carefully planned my capture by marrying my mother and becoming my stepfather when I was five. For the next 9-years I was held captive while he abused me emotionally, physically and sexually and used me for child pornography.
I always wondered what I would feel on this day as he celebrates 100 years of life. It seems unfair, as it appears he made it without any consequences. While he was found out and ultimately turned into the police when I finally had the courage nearly 20 years after the fact to turn him in, he was not held accountable for his crimes. Financially well off and still in good health, it appears that today, on his birthday, he will have his cake and eat it too.
The good news is, I feel just fine. I know that my forgiveness is real and his soul is in the hands of God. Oddly, I don’t pray for his demise or that he gets what he deserves, a trip straight to Hell.
During this particular Christmas Season, I feel overwhelmed by the song, O Holy Night.
Fall on your knees, Oh hear the angels voices, Oh night divine, Oh night that Christ was born.
As I sing the words, I know Christ came not just to save me but, to save all mankind, no matter how vile the sin. My prayer, my vision, is to see my abuser fall on his knees before our mighty God and repent. His time is at hand and my wish is that he is able to come to terms with his forgivable sin and make it to the arms of his Heavenly Father who can heal his wounds. I don’t need revenge because my wounds are healed and I am whole. The sting of his abuse is gone for me and I have no more reason to wish the sting of death upon him.
In the Bible, the book of Luke, chapter 2 vs. 13-14 the angels proclaim the birth of Christ,
And suddenly there appeared with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying, “Glory to God in the highest, And on earth peace among men with whom He is pleased.”
My Christmas wish is peace on earth and peace for all those who read this today. We all have things in life and people who we perceive to have committed sins against us that we just can’t forgive. But, we can. It is when our wounds are healed that we are able to fully release the other person from the debt we think they owe us. The good news is Jesus has already paid the price of this healing process. In Isaiah 53:5 it tells us, “By His stripes we are healed.”
I am so very grateful that the miracle of Christmas is for every single person on this earth. It is up to each one of us individually to grasp the concept of the all-consuming love of Jesus that can wash us white as snow, no matter what we have done. He did the dying so we can do the living…and share the good news of that love.
One of my favorite people in the Bible is Joseph. Abused and betrayed by his own family, Joseph went on to serve God in a very big way. In his great wisdom, he could see the bigger plan of the almighty God who takes away the power of the abusers in our lives. He says,
As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive. Genesis 50:20
The power of God is greater than all our problems and our shortcomings. It is demonstrated by the miracle of His birth, His death and His resurrection. I know that this great power is real. It is the only reason I am able to ask for this unusual Christmas gift… God’s grace upon a broken 100-year-old man who could not use the evil devices of Satan to destroy one little girl. Today I stand in the grace of God, healed and whole. My God is bigger than all of this!
The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit, be with you all.
11 Corinthians 13:14